Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to take boring photographs.
Kidding…Mostly.
I just loved sunset photos. High contrast, very saturated, basic composition. I LOVED THEM. They were my real foray into photography. It was around the time where I could ask for a new digital camera every year because the last one was either lost, stolen, or broken. I would pay serious money to find the old photos from back then, but my first camera was a basic point and shoot. A Samsung ST500 with the red stripe. It was stolen. My next one was a Canon PowerShot A4000 IS. Also, stolen. Listen, I lived in central New Jersey, okay?
Eventually, I bought a Yashica FX-3 Super 2000 from the thrift store while I was in high school for like twenty dollars. I still have it to this day. Would you guys be mad at me if I told you I’ve only developed three rolls since then? I keep saying I’m going to just bite the bullet and send all my rolls to get developed, but there’s eleven rolls and two of them are randoms from old cameras I’ve purchased and have since gotten rid of, but someday I will get them developed.
When I did use my Yashica, it produced some of my favorite photos.
Those photos were my post-college era.I decided to split my journey into eras because I was feeling a bit down about my life and all my creative outlets and thought it would be interesting to remind myself of how far I’ve come. I encourage you to do the same if you’ve been beating yourself up lately. Even if you only find one photo from ten years ago.
It’s funny because I have a secret Instagram that I thought I’d use for my photography, but decided I’d rather just live in my truth a.k.a being a multi-passionate hobby hoarder—f*ck “niche down” culture. On my secret account, I wanted to do a reel that showed my photography journey through the years. Never did it because I didn’t want to dig through old photos, but I did that today. I sat at the bookstore and scrolled through years of photos for hours. The trip down memory lane on the last day of mercury retrograde was not my best decision, but you live and you learn.
I downloaded all the images from my Google photos, I’m sure there’s a ton missing, but I remember these being my favorites. As I was scrolling through them I wondered, maybe I should split them up somehow. High school, college, and post-college— or BC, DC, AC (before college, during college, after college).
Before college really should have separate eras, but I took a photography class in high school. I’m almost certain some of my friends still have a few of the photos we took. I am so sorry to Ms. Greenberg because I came across a photo of an apple that I remember thinking was so good…
I am hoping I didn’t show this to her, but knowing me—I probably did.
After taking that less than stellar photo, I tried to use what I learned in high school and from Tumblr. Eventually taking these below. They’re all B.C. so circa 2013 through August 2014. There’s not many and I want to say it’s because I finally decided to join Instagram in January of 2014, but do not quote me on that.
At some point, I thought I wanted to get into concert photography. It still crosses my mind every time I go to a one. Back then, I wasn’t serious about photography. I just wanted to take cute, Tumblr-worthy photos. I put my photography to the side for a while because I went to college. In hindsight, that’s when I should’ve doubled down, but I barely touched my camera. I opted for my iPhone most of the time—still afraid to be seen trying.
I think this is where my actual style tried to shine through, but honestly, I just didn’t capture enough photos. Even when I left for England to study abroad, I wasn’t out every day taking photos. I carried my camera more, but these photos were taken over a few random days.
I loved these photos. Most of them stayed on my bedroom walls for years until I decided, actually I’m done looking at these. They served their purpose: prove that I still had something.
And then… I stopped shooting again.
I was processing a lot and very upset that I had to come back to the States. I threw myself into the job search, started writing, tried to shoot again, but my Nikon 1 J1 felt outdated. It was outdated. I wanted a big girl camera with a nice lens, but I just didn’t have the money so I didn’t shoot as much (again).
However, my iPhone camera was just fine for a long time. It had to be because my Nikon stopped working. Some sort of lens error that probably has a simple fix, but from 2018 through 2020, I used my iPhone. Even to this day, I will opt out of carrying my camera for various reasons, because I know my phone is just fine.
In 2020, I went to Los Angeles, fell in love with California, took a lot of film photos, and never developed them. I know, I know, but it renewed my love for photography. I started to obsess over getting a new camera. It was all I thought about.
I started to save up for a camera, but I didn’t know what I wanted. I just knew it’d cost a couple hundred, maybe a little over a thousand. Maybe a Nikon? Pentax? I remembered needing the Pentax Q7. I had no clue where to look, so I called my old neighbor. He’s an amazing photographer who took my sister and I’s prom photos and he immediately told me to go Fuji. He recommended the X-T4. I laughed. The body alone was $1,700. I told him I’d think about it and did more digging because I trusted his judgment, but maybe I’d start with someone less intense.
After months of back and forth and adding random cameras to my cart, I settled on the Fujifilm X-T30 and I still use it religiously. It is still my only and favorite mirrorless digital camera.
For six years, on and off, I took photos I loved and photos I hated. I still shared the ones that I eventually grew to hate, maybe I’ll include some. As much as I hated them, it was all part of the process.
There will be photos you hate. Every photo can’t be great and even that’s still subjective. A great photo to you, may be the worst photo I’ve ever seen. An amazing photo to me might be the most stupid photo you’ve ever seen.
Keep taking photos. Even if you feel weird because it’s been so long. Even if your camera only has 4 megapixels.
Do a challenge where you take a photo every day for one month and see how much you grow. See how differently you frame things.
I felt like an imposter for years and I still do on most days. Will that ever change? Probably not, but I can’t let it stop me from capturing the weird and beautiful things I want to remember. I hope you don’t let it stop you either.
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